Me, Before Kids

I was thinking the other day about how much my life has changed since I've had kids. I was looking at me from my friends' eyes who never knew me before I had kids. I am a different person. My personality hasn't really changed, but my values and activities have. I'm not sad about it; I was just reflecting on all of it. For example, these are things I did pre-Amelia and Mikayla:

• My job meant everything to me; teaching was one of the most important things in my life...and I was good at it and even was nominated for awards!
• We woke up on Sunday mornings, went to church, came home and Dave fixed breakfast, fell asleep on the couch (the old green flowered couch that had a cat-pee smell that Dave found at a garage sale...remember Candace and Brittney?) until 4:00 when we woke up and went to Dave's parents' house for our Sunday roast dinner.
• It was easy to keep a house clean (maybe because it was a three room, cinder-block-wall student apartment).
• We mountain biked, hiked and camped more...and it was easy to just GO!
• I had acrylic nails.
• I didn't know who Bratz dolls or Zoe were.
• I had extra money.
• I spent that extra money on ME!
• I was smart. I could hold a conversation and could talk about current events and actually sound educated.
• I bought clothes at places other than Old Navy, Gap, Target and Wal-Mart.
• I wore shoes other than flip-flops.
• I didn't really understand what it meant to love someone so completely from the minute I saw them (or felt them).

When it comes down to it, I guess I'm the same person DEEP inside, but things sure do change! Someone said something to me the other day about my patience and how I was a good mom and they could never be like that....and I was thinking to myself, there was a time I thought the exact same thing about myself.

Today's Ramblings

When one totally submits to God's will with a life-changing situation, why is it that the choice is not made clear? I don't know if that makes sense, but if you are willing to do whatever God wants you to do, but you just don't know exactly which choice He wants you to make, it's so difficult. Anyway, if you have answers on that or insight I don't have, please share.

On another note...summer is here. We are having so much fun! I love HOT weather. I love to sit by the pool, hang with friends and play with the kids. I love to have Amelia out of school. I love to not have to be pressed to leave the house in the morning. I just love summer. I think that's one of the reasons I loved being a teacher; I still had that childhood anticipation and fun of summer! Now, I get summer through my kids.

My Mom

I love my mom. She loves her kids more than any mom I know. The thing about her that I love best is that she wants what is best for them, even if it may not necessarily be best for her (moving across the country, for example) BUT most of all, she just wants us all to be happy.

Mom has been through more than any person I know. She sacrificed so much for her kids, but she didn't give up so much that she has nothing left. She is fun, beautiful, and seriously funny. She is so talented...I will never forget when I had in my head exactly the dress I wanted for Senior Ball and I drew it on paper and mom made it. It was so pretty and I felt like a princess for the night. Who else can do that????? Certainly not me! She is an amazing artist and gardener. She is an animal lover. She has good friends that love her. All the little kids in the ward and neighborhood love her. She is just fun to be around and happy and strong.

Mom, you are the greatest. I hate it that it's not until we are old and have kids of our own that we realize just how good you were (and are), but I have realized it. Mom, you are my everything. You gave me the foundation to stand on. You lift me up and you love me. Words cannot express my feelings for you.

On another note...this is from a cute email that a friend sent:

THE MOMMY TEST: I was out walking with my 4 year old daughter. She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth. I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that. "Why?" my daughter asked."Because it's been laying outside, you don't know where it's been, it's dirty and probably has germs" I replied.At this point, my daughter looked at me with total admiration and asked, "Wow! How do you know all this stuff?" "Uh," ..I was thinking quickly, " All moms know this stuff. It's on the Mommy Test. You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Mommy."We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently pondering this new information."OH...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test you have to be the daddy.""Exactly" I replied back with a big smile on my face and joy in my heart.

Happy Mother's Day!

Tagged!

I was "tagged" and here it is!
5 things in your purse:
Mary Kay lipstick
Cell phone
Band Aid
Extra ponytail holder
Baby Nail clippers

5 things in your fridge:
Diet Coke
bottled water
yogurt drinks for the kids
Kool Aid
cheese

5 things in your car:
crumbs
basket of toys
two carseats
car pool tag with "Amelia" on it
picnic blanket

5 things on your desk:
a gnome that Amelia painted
lots of speakers that don't work
pencil sharpener
lamp
card holder that Chell have us

5 things in your closet:
a mountain of sweaters (all Dave's)
a mile of clothes (all Dave's)
a pile of shoes (all Dave's)
an ironing board (Dave's of course...can't even remember the last time I ironed)
the girls' make-up (hidden, because they're grounded from it)

5 things in your backyard:
a putting green (really, a real-life putting green!)
a sandbox
a playhouse
a blow-up pool
a grill that I wheeled down the block from a neighbor giving theirs away

5 things in your garage:
camping gear
a golf car
lots of bikes, trikes, scooters and ride-toys
balls and sports gear
yard stuff

5 things in your kitchen junk drawer:
sunglasses
spare keys
hot glue gun
paper
pens

5 things under your bathroom sink:
blow dryer
back ups of all of the products we use that I buy on sale and with a coupon so I stock up
toilet paper
nail polish
a curling iron that I haven't used in over five years

5 things in your hall closet:
holiday decorations
coats
water storage (got rid of the food)
golf clubs
extension cords

5 things in your child's room:
bunk beds
a pretend flower garden with a picket fence
dressers
pillows
stuffed animals

5 things in your house you can't live without:
Dave
Amelia
Mikayla
my TV
my computer

5 people who you are tagging and need to make this blog:
Candice
Alli
Jessi
Jayme
um, all y'all

Amelia's Hard Work Documented

Look at my Baby Go!

I was so proud of her in the trike-a-thon earning money for her school. They worked so hard! The sweetest part was a little boy in leg braces who had to work twice as hard to go half as far. The kids all cheered him on. I am grateful to Chell's family (especially little Ryker who sent his own money) and Nana for supporting Amelia and her AMAZING little school that brings so much happiness to the kids that are lucky enough to attend there!

What am I?

My friend Jessi did this on her blog, so I thought I would try one myself. Here are nouns that describe me:

Baseball Game
Sunrise
Long hike
Friend
Flip Flops
Mother
Party
Sunshine
Dress-ups
Night Owl
Summer
Bedtime Stories
Music
Warm Night
Telephone
Teacher
Silly Dances
Sister
Wife

"DON'T SQUEEZE MY BAY-BUH"

My baby is three! She had so much fun with her friends and Nana and D at Pump It Up for her birthday party. She insisted on a Zoe Ballerina party, which is not-so-popular and discontinued, so I had to spend a lot of time on Ebay getting the party goods! It was all worth it though and turned out so fun for her.

Mikayla is still my little firecracker. She is most recently quoted as saying to everyone she meets, "What is your name?" followed by, "Why are you here?" She also likes to say (with her little southern accent) "Don't squeeze my Bay-buh." Apparently a mom said this to Mikayla when she was getting too close to her five-week-old baby. Now Mikayla says it at any given time during the day. She asks people we meet if they are a boy or girl and then tells women with really short hair that they don't have any hair and must be a boy. Luckily, she's still a little hard to understand, and I'm not sure they know exactly what she's saying, but it's a little embarrassing. I never know what to expect from her...she's a handfull, but I love every minute with her (well, at least the minutes she's asleep).

Happy Birthday Mikayla Mae!

D and Nana

Lake Lanier There are not words to describe how much I love Little D. When she was only 8, I left the house for college and really didn't see her very much and then got married. HOWEVER, fate, God or answered prayers changed things and I ended up her 8th grade English teacher at FJH and we found a friendship and bond that could not be stronger. We understand each other like only sisters can. We laugh and cry and have so many differences but so many similarities too. Most of all we love each other and I can't even tell you how much I miss her. My girls adore her. Amelia and D have a bond that miles can't break.
The Georgia Aquarium

We did so many fun things: Amicalola Falls (and hiked forever), the Georgia Aquarium, birthday parties (including Mikayla's...more to come on that), hanging with the neighbors, golf car rides and walks around the neighborhood, the lake, Lollipop toystore, but most of all we hung out and TALKED and played and just had fun being together.

Amicalola Falls


My mom (AKA Nana Banana) is the world's greatest mom. First of all, she kept up with my totally rambuctious, never-quit, overly energetic, never nap, always want to play outside kids, but also, she hiked up the falls. Later when I was talking to some other grandparents in town for my friend Marla's little girl's birthday party, they were telling me about Amicalola and how they park at the top and enjoy the beauty...It was then that I realized that we parked at the BOTTOM and MY MOM trekked up the falls and did an awesome job. We also went to Moe's for Mikayla's birthday dinner and my mom was mistaken for me and D's sister...what a stud! I love my mom. I miss her more than words can describe. We laugh and talk and just had fun being with each other. I owe everything to her. She is my rock and I love her. I miss her more now that I just saw her.

So, I'm not trying to impress anyone with my blog. I'm keeping it real and just trying to be me, but I want the world to know that I love my family. After all, that is more important than money, looks, and everything else. Those of you that live close to your family, treasure it.

Happy Birthday Jayme!!!

Jayme and me at graduation...14 years ago (no way does it seem that long ago!)
L Banquet
Las Vegas...our summer of dancing, and dancing, and dancing some more.

Go Hi-Lo's!

Jayme was my best friend in high school and stood in my line next to me at my wedding...we've been through good and bad, ups and downs and have always remained friends. She is amazingly talented....from choreography to standing back tucks to wonder-mom to scrapbook extrordinaire. She is awesome!

Happy Birthday!

Happy Easter!

Happy Easter to all of you! It has been a crazy, fun filled week already. Amelia had her Easter egg hunt at school on Tuesday and Mikayla had one at playgroup on Wednesday. This morning we had a neighborhood party in our backyard. It was a great time...I'll post pictures later. We spent the day at the lake and it hit 90 degrees! We love warm weather, but we miss our family and Utah friends so much, especially during the holidays. Have a wonderful Easter.

Sticky Situations

So, I was reading a friend's blog about sticky situations, and I was reminded of a few of mine:

Dave's office Christmas party was at the new Georgia Aquarium. It was a big family deal that they did instead of a fancy couples party at a hotel. Well, I went to Banana Republic and bought a cute sweater and wore it proudly. About a week later, I wore the sweater again and kept rubbing my arm against something. I looked down and saw the size sticker STILL ATTACHED to the sweater. It proudly said "size L" about six times on a long vertical striped sticker down the front of the sweater. The irony is, it really was a "sticky situation!"

This one is so not-funny, but very awkward: Dave has played softball for as long as I have known him. He was on the same team for about eight years and we were the couple that had been married the longest. We watched the younger guys meet and then marry even younger girls and it was getting harder and harder to find things in common with girls ten years younger than me while sitting watching the guys play ball. Finally, one of the girls says to me, "Hey, so-and-so tells us that you were on college dance team...so was I." Relieved that I finally had some common ground, I told them that indeed, I was. They went on to ask me about Jan Whittaker (who at the time of my old age was the rival HIGH SCHOOL advisor). I told them what I thought and she responded, "Wow, that is just so cool that you were on Crimson Line." I was like, "Yeah." Then it dawned on me...Crimson Line????? That is the U of U drill team NOT the Dixie College drill team. Jan Whittaker had moved up in the world and was now a university advisor and now ALL the young softball wives thought I was a former CRIMSON LINE girl. They kept asking me questions and I was all flustered and then it got past the point that I could tell them that it was all a big mistake...anyway, you get the picture...it went on and on.

My feisty, spirited youngest daughter had left the house and cut across the backyards to go to my friend's house who informed me later that as our other friend had come to pick up her FOUR MONTH OLD BABY, Mikayla pointed to her stomach and said, "You have a BABY in there!" (She actually said the same thing to me the next day and said it to my friend Marla's thin-as-a-rail mother, but of course she wasn't there to hear that she is pretty much saying it to any woman because she figured out that that's where babies are "stored.")

I have so many more, but one last one for now...I was ten years old and felt at least 16 because I was on a trip by MYSELF with my Grandma to HAWAII eating in some glass restaurant overlooking the entire island when the waitress asked me if I wanted Horseradish with my steak. I of course ordered the way my Grandmother did and replied, "Yes, please." She in turn replied, "Wow, what grown up taste!" I then felt at least 17 years old and sat up a little taller. When my scrumptious steak was served I took one bite and burst into tears. It was the most disgusting taste I had ever imagined and I couldn't hold it back. The gig was up, I didn't have grown up tastes.

There are so many more, but my friend sent me a book "Letters for Emily" that I am reading...so I'll sign off for now. Please comment with your own sticky situations and we can laugh together.

An Experiment

I have to admit, I think I'm a decent mom. I'm not going to win any awards and sometimes I'm horrible, but for the most part, I'm above average. HOWEVER, my kids had just been acting really naughty (worse than usual). It's also hard because when we go places or at school or wherever, they are great. So people really don't know what I'm talking about when I try to tell them how they behave at home.

One day last week was particularly hard. The girls were fighting with each other, smearing sunscreen on the kitchen floor, filling up the sinks to overflowing and sitting on the counter with their feet in them playing pedicure, and just being unbelievable grouchy. I was completely frustrated.

Sunday I was watching this show (Grey's Anatomy) and this mom is dying and her teenage daughter comes in to her hospital room and the mom is trying to give her 50 years' worth of advice in five minutes. When it came to the advice on children, she said something like, "Amelia (that was her name by the way) it doesn't matter if your child is a concert pianist or a soccer player. It doesn't matter how many friends they have or how talented and smart they are. All that matters is that they are HAPPY."

I decided that for one week (during Spring Break right now), I was going to drop everything and love my kids. I hold them more; I listen to them more; I smile more; I laugh more; I play with them more...and the difference is unbelievable. The girls are sweeter to each other. They had one minor issue last night at bedtime (bringing a box of baby wipes into bed with them and pulling them out one by one while I was talking to Mom), but that is IT! I haven't done any deep cleaning this week, but my house is even pretty clean. It hasn't fallen apart and the other things I haven't focused on during my little experiment obviously don't matter that much because I haven't even noticed that they aren't done!

I'm not saying my life has to completely revolve around kids, but a neighbor friend said something to me yesterday that really struck a cord. She asked, "What is it that kids want more than anything? Attention from their PARENTS. They will get it any way they can...positively or negatively." I think that's what's going on. It hasn't taken that much effort. I think I was doing a decent job before, but just trying a little bit harder and letting a few things go has made them happier and sweeter. After all, all I want for my kids is for them to be happy, truly happy.

Cooking with Chell

When I was in junior high, I found out a perfect way to get breakfast every morning...really compliment the person who is making it, so they WANT to make it for you. So, every morning I would yell from bed, "But Chell, you make the best toast in the whole world. No one makes it better than you." So she would get out of bed and make toast for both of us. Then, it turned into our favorite after school snack too. Again after school, I would say, "Chell, I would make it, but you just do it so much better!"

The thing is, she really did make a NICE piece of toast. To this day it's the best toast I've ever had....until Dad found out how she was making it and put a stop to it. She was buttering the bread BEFORE she put it into the toaster (which makes it taste fabulous by the way) but it shorts out the wires when the butter drips down and is actually a little dangerous. So, the toast days were put to an end.

She is a good little cook though. Maybe it's my toast that got her started. Check out her cookie recipe on her blog (link above). I think I'll try it today!

Can I be honest?

Okay, I don't know who even reads my blogs anymore, so read this at your own risk. I remember when girls used to get cramps in high school, and I was like, "Buck up Camper, it's not that bad." There was this particular girl on dance team (Jayme and Chell, remember Amber T.?) who would curl up in a ball even on competition days and would just cry her cramps hurt so bad.

Fast forward 15 years (wow, has it been that long?) I have the world's worst PMS. The cramps are bad, but my emotions are out of control. Everything offends me and everything irritates me. EVERYTHING!!! I seriously wanted to scream at the clerk who asked if I wanted paper or plastic. What the hell, does anyone use paper anymore? (Don't worry I recycle the plastic.) Then Mikayla and I got home and as I was trying to put away groceries, Mikayla ate apple chips, a piece of bread, two yogurts, sour cream and onion chips AND bologne. THEN, she asked for lunch. She's TWO!!!!!!!!!! I was so irritated. Then I sit back and I'm like, "Man, it's not that big of a deal, why am I freaking out?????" Oh, it's because I have PMS!

Now, you can tell me to get on some drug or whatever to get it under control, but I already went off the pill two years ago because it made me completely crazy after I had kids. I also never really had cramps or PMS until after I had kids. So, I guess I can just deal with it.

JUST DON'T CROSS MY PATH IN THE NEXT TWO DAYS, AND IF YOU MUST, TALK QUIETLY AND ONLY SAY THINGS LIKE, "Man, you are the best mom and never yell at your kids. You are so skinny and aren't bloated at all. Your face is so clear right now, I can't even see the small mountain on your forehead."

I'll see you in two days, I'm going to eat a box of Dots, drink four Diet Cokes and climb into my cave.

Oh, on a positive note, my fabulous friend Miki is taking the girls OVERNIGHT Friday night for my birthday...how cool is that?

Did you know?

Free Money? Could it be true? Ya, kind of. There is this financial guru on the radio (Clark Howard) who told his listeners about a website called MissingMoney.com. Anyway, you put in your information and it will find money that is owed to you but never paid...from previous jobs, insurance, stocks, etc. I didn't find any money for me, but I found two checks for my dad from our old Logan address and one for my brother-in-law in Texas. Michael's was only $103, but hey, the check is in the mail to him and he didn't even know it was out there. I told him I would take a percentage of it or he had to use it to come and visit us! Anyway, check it out...and check it out for your family and friends. It's easy and kind of fun.

I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have no clue what happened to my blog, but I think I fixed things...stay tuned for a most-intriguing blog.

Grateful

Today I was unloading groceries with Mikayla after taking Amelia to school and my neighbor across the street was in her new boat checking things out. She saw us and ran over and offered to take Mikayla for a little while. I know it seems like a little thing, but in that hour I got all the bathroom floors swept and mopped, the upstairs vacuumed, all the groceries put away, the area rugs downstairs shaken out AND the stairs swept and polished. She brought Mikayla home so happy and gave her a little break from me too.

I guess my point is that she will never know how much that meant to me...just to have a little break and get so much done. I will remember this forever and a few years from now when my kids are in school, I will return the favor to a mom I see with young kids who just needs an hour break on a random day!

Fashion Girl

This is what I love about my Amelia:

• She is totally her own person...when most girls her age say their favorite colors are pink and purple, Amelia proudly tells them hers is GREEN.
• She tells me all the time she is a "Fashion Girl" and she really cares about what she wears. The thing is, it's her OWN version of what's "fashion." It has to have sparkles and be purple or green and then she wears it for at least five days straight. This picture is of the outfit she wore the first seven days of school in a row (a purple sparkly shirt is under the jacket).
• She is so sweet to her sister and very protective of her.

• She is a daddy's girl, but she worries that it makes me feel bad, so she will run and hug me and then jump right back in daddy's lap.
• She loves to get dirty and play outside more than anything else. She is truly the dirtiest kid I know. This picture is of Amelia and her worms.
• She wakes up every day happy and wants to go to school.
• She loves art and making messes with paint, Play-doh, stamps, etc. and is very creative.
• She is the best little help in the kitchen...and I mean "real help." She sets the table and stirs and never lets us forget to pray before a meal (although she insists on saying the prayer they say at school).
• She makes our family complete and we love her so much!
  

Best Buds

It is so hard to move away from family for a lot of reasons, but one of the hardest is not having any help with the kids. I mean, I'm happy to call a teenager for a date night, but to go to the dentist in the middle of the day, to rush Amelia to the hospital in the middle of the night and then go back for tests (and not drag Kayla along) and to just give me a break, I would have no one....if it it weren't for

Steph and Marla.

It's not just about helping me with my kids though, they are my family away from Utah (and Dallas and Phoenix) and I really don't know what I would do without them. They do help me out with my kids all the time (even though both of their families are here, so they never really need the favor returned.) I love how we can talk for hours about everything and never run out of things to say. We hang out pretty much every day and our kids are the best of friends.

I've thought a lot about it and we don't have that much in common...different backgrounds, families, religions, discipline styles, dress, hair, occupations, education, etc., etc. but somehow I have found the two dearest friends in the world. I also know how weird it is to meet best friends over the age of 30, but they are two of the best friends I've ever had in my whole life.

I love that we are neighbors and can call on each other any time. I love that we pop over at each other's houses to eat dinner, hang out or just sit and watch TV. I love that they understand when I'm lonely because Dave is late and they just appear. I love that they are adventurous and love to do fun things. I love that they like to hang out as much as I do. I love that even though we have a lot of differences, we learn from each other and I think that's why we have become such great friends. I just love them!

We took the kids (Kaitlyn is almost 4, Jesse is almost 5, and then my Amelia who is almost 5 and Kayla who is almost 3) up to a cabin for the weekend. The guys love to hang out and the kids love to hang out. It gives the three of us time to just get away from it all. We had a great time and at one point during the weekend, as I was curled up on the couch with a book and the kids were playing in the basement while Steph and Jerry were cooking breakfast, I stopped to think that at that moment, there was nowhere I'd rather be and no one I'd rather be with...what a great feeling.

My Mikayla

You know how it's easier to vent about the bad stuff? Well, I did that in a previous blog, so let me now talk about my sweet little two-year-old...

• She wakes up every morning and yells, "GOO MORNIN'!!!!" and then goes through her drawers to pick out an outfit and completely dresses herself. AND it always matches because everything she owns or wears has to be pink.
• She never complains about being in the car for at least an hour every day running errands and carpooling Amelia to school. As a matter of fact, the other day in the car she kept yelling, "MOM???, MOM???" I finally turned down the tunes and said, "Yes, Kayla?" and she said, "You're the best mom!!!!" I about started to cry and said, "You're the best daughter!" Now she always tells me, "Mom, you're the best daughter!"
• She is totally independent...potty trained herself months ago, brushes her own teeth, dresses herself, tells me how she wants her hair done, cleans up after herself and picks up any trash and throws it in the garbage.
• She makes friends anywhere...the ladies at the grocery store love her and look for her every Monday morning. They buy her little gifts and call her their adopted granddaughter.
• She is skinny but so strong. She can climb the obstacle course better than any five year old at Pump It Up.
• She looks in the mirror at her blonde curls and then looks at me and says, "Mom, I want hair like yours...no 'lellow curls, just straight black." I have to always tell her how beautiful her hair is because she just wants to look like Mom and she couldn't be more opposite.
• When she sees how much fun Amelia has at school, I keep preparing her for school and say, "Mikayla, you will have so much fun at school." She says, "No, I just like to be with Mommy."
• She knows when she's naughty and it really does bother her...she still talks about scratching that baby at the scrapbook store in Utah (I know Mom and D...it was traumatic for ALL of us). She has named her baby doll Brianne after the baby at Gymboree who she beat up, but now she's sweet to her and always tells her baby doll she's sorry for pushing her off the mat (which is what she did to the real Brianne).
• She gives wet, slobbery, sometimes snotty kisses all the time.
• She's a party-girl and loves to visit neighbors and friends.
• She's so musical and smart. She loves to sing and dance and remembers everything.
• She makes my life fun and exciting and keeps me laughing.
• She makes my life complete.