Can I be honest?

Okay, I don't know who even reads my blogs anymore, so read this at your own risk. I remember when girls used to get cramps in high school, and I was like, "Buck up Camper, it's not that bad." There was this particular girl on dance team (Jayme and Chell, remember Amber T.?) who would curl up in a ball even on competition days and would just cry her cramps hurt so bad.

Fast forward 15 years (wow, has it been that long?) I have the world's worst PMS. The cramps are bad, but my emotions are out of control. Everything offends me and everything irritates me. EVERYTHING!!! I seriously wanted to scream at the clerk who asked if I wanted paper or plastic. What the hell, does anyone use paper anymore? (Don't worry I recycle the plastic.) Then Mikayla and I got home and as I was trying to put away groceries, Mikayla ate apple chips, a piece of bread, two yogurts, sour cream and onion chips AND bologne. THEN, she asked for lunch. She's TWO!!!!!!!!!! I was so irritated. Then I sit back and I'm like, "Man, it's not that big of a deal, why am I freaking out?????" Oh, it's because I have PMS!

Now, you can tell me to get on some drug or whatever to get it under control, but I already went off the pill two years ago because it made me completely crazy after I had kids. I also never really had cramps or PMS until after I had kids. So, I guess I can just deal with it.

JUST DON'T CROSS MY PATH IN THE NEXT TWO DAYS, AND IF YOU MUST, TALK QUIETLY AND ONLY SAY THINGS LIKE, "Man, you are the best mom and never yell at your kids. You are so skinny and aren't bloated at all. Your face is so clear right now, I can't even see the small mountain on your forehead."

I'll see you in two days, I'm going to eat a box of Dots, drink four Diet Cokes and climb into my cave.

Oh, on a positive note, my fabulous friend Miki is taking the girls OVERNIGHT Friday night for my birthday...how cool is that?