If life is a road, there are constant forks in the road that one encounters, and a choice must be made which direction to travel. Some of these choices have little impact on where one will end up; some will change that life forever. Sometimes it is not even possible to understand how important that choice is at the time...it's only after the fact that it is realized how important that choice was, how turning left instead of right at that particular fork changed that person's life forever.
I am just not one to live with regrets or what ifs...I think I would go crazy and always second-guess myself. When I am faced with a decision, I sometimes think long and hard about it, and I am sometimes quick to decide, but I am pretty good about living with the decision. What is amazing to me is to look back on my life and see those crossroads, those forks in the road, where I made a decision or a decision was made for me that impacted my life and changed it forever.
Now I will ask what if...
What if my mom hadn't married my dad?
What if we wouldn't have left St. George?
What if I wouldn't have decided to go back to St. George for college?
What if Chelie had gone home that first day and not introduced me to Dave?
What if I would have gone to BYU instead of the U?
What if I had become a lawyer instead of a teacher?
What if I didn't have a miscarriage?
What if I would have given up and not tried for any more kids?
What if I would have stopped at one kid?
What if we wouldn't have moved to Georgia?
What if I weren't so curious and didn't read so much?
My life has it's ups and downs, but overall I am happy. I've made good decisions and bad decisions. They have all made me who I am, and I'm pretty happy with who I am and where I've been.
5 comments:
It takes a wise person to say that despite the good and bad, she (or he) understands that all those events make up the person who is here today. Congrats on being happy in the skin you're in--it ain't easy.
(Are those your babies? They're beautiful!)
Keep writing! :)
Lovely photo! And it's lovely to hear a story that someone is really happy with their present circumstances.
I know what you mean about going nuts if you think about the what if's too much. It is mindboggling to reflect on what our lives are like because we chose a particular fork in the road. I enjoyed your entry!
Good post Chaun. I ask the what if's a lot to. But...like you, I am totally happy where I am at now. Been lots of ups and downs, bad decisions, trying times, etc. But it makes me who I am today. I didn't know you had a miscarriage Chaun. It is so hard. I have had two now. The last one just a year ago. It's so heartbreaking. But wow, does it make me even more grateful for the two that I have made it here on earth. I love you!
I should stop asking "what if" so often. I do it all the time. Your girls are so cute, I know you know.
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