I have to admit, I think I'm a decent mom. I'm not going to win any awards and sometimes I'm horrible, but for the most part, I'm above average. HOWEVER, my kids had just been acting really naughty (worse than usual). It's also hard because when we go places or at school or wherever, they are great. So people really don't know what I'm talking about when I try to tell them how they behave at home.
One day last week was particularly hard. The girls were fighting with each other, smearing sunscreen on the kitchen floor, filling up the sinks to overflowing and sitting on the counter with their feet in them playing pedicure, and just being unbelievable grouchy. I was completely frustrated.
Sunday I was watching this show (Grey's Anatomy) and this mom is dying and her teenage daughter comes in to her hospital room and the mom is trying to give her 50 years' worth of advice in five minutes. When it came to the advice on children, she said something like, "Amelia (that was her name by the way) it doesn't matter if your child is a concert pianist or a soccer player. It doesn't matter how many friends they have or how talented and smart they are. All that matters is that they are HAPPY."
I decided that for one week (during Spring Break right now), I was going to drop everything and love my kids. I hold them more; I listen to them more; I smile more; I laugh more; I play with them more...and the difference is unbelievable. The girls are sweeter to each other. They had one minor issue last night at bedtime (bringing a box of baby wipes into bed with them and pulling them out one by one while I was talking to Mom), but that is IT! I haven't done any deep cleaning this week, but my house is even pretty clean. It hasn't fallen apart and the other things I haven't focused on during my little experiment obviously don't matter that much because I haven't even noticed that they aren't done!
I'm not saying my life has to completely revolve around kids, but a neighbor friend said something to me yesterday that really struck a cord. She asked, "What is it that kids want more than anything? Attention from their PARENTS. They will get it any way they can...positively or negatively." I think that's what's going on. It hasn't taken that much effort. I think I was doing a decent job before, but just trying a little bit harder and letting a few things go has made them happier and sweeter. After all, all I want for my kids is for them to be happy, truly happy.
4 comments:
I couldn't agree more! Most of my cleaning/working out/whatever I need to do... is done after 9PM or before 7AM (or during nap time). I've been blessed with the happiest, loving boys ever! I hope this works for you and your girls. When we look back 10 years from now we want our memories to be of time with our happy kids, not how clean our house is, or our yard work done on time or that we had ripped abs :-)....
...and I think you're a great mom and I know your girls will always be able to look back and be thankful they had you.
I really liked this post, Chaun. I think your experiment can be applied to relationships in general. I certainly notice a difference in mine when I'm happy. I also like what you said about just letting things go. Maybe it's just in our personalities, but little things make me CRAZY too. Now I'm conscious of becoming annoyed, and I just take a few deep breaths and think about how completely AWESOME my life is. That usually helps. :) Love you!
PS- I'm so excited to see you guys that I can't even stand it.
I think you should beat kids when they are naughty. That's what I did to you guys and look how great you all turned out! JK!
love dad
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