Carpool Etiquette

This is not my car, but it might as well be...

Okay, I admit it, I'm a soccer mom. I am a start-hauling-kids-at-7:45AM-and-drive-back-and-forth-until-5:00PM Soccer Mom, although there is no soccer being played, just elementary school, preschool, Jazz Dance, Ballet, Gymnastics, Playdates, and Girl Scouts, oh yeah, and the marathon birthday parties that parents are expected to sit through...the entire four hours.

I am grateful for carpooling neighbors that pick up some of the slack, but until you've sat in a car-rider line after school for forty-five minutes before school even gets out, just so you can be one of the first 20 moms there, while entertaining a preschooler, and then still wait a good ten minutes for them to get out, you just don't realize how hard it is...and how grateful you are when it's someone else's turn.

That brings me to a new GEORGIA carpool etiquette rule, that I have a hard time with. Growing up, I was involved in even more things than my kids are, and the moms always took turns. The mom came in her house-robe and slippers, even some loose curlers on a really early morning and pulled into your driveway and HONKED. That was your signal to load it all up and get out there FAST. We didn't have music; we didn't have TV's, and we sure as heck didn't have seatbelts, let alone carseats to shuffle around. The mom drove us to our destination and we THANKED her for the ride. It wasn't expected; it wasn't demanded; I think we were grateful that we were able to get there.

I've noticed a few differences in these here parts. First, it is NEVER okay to honk, seriously. That means, you may sit in someone's driveway for a good ten minutes before they come out, unless you want to venture out of the car and knock on the door and let them know you are here. You just sit, and wait, and wait. Meanwhile, your kids are taking off their seatbelts, their shoes, and unloading their bookbags. Second, no one says thanks, ever. No one says, "Man, thanks for getting up and getting us to school so that we didn't have to catch the bus forty-five minutes earlier and walk down the street to the bus stop and stand there in the cold." Not even a "thanks for the ride." Third, I guess because it is such a hassle, no one really wants to do their fair share of carpooling. When one mom does more than everyone else, it's just expected...after all, "she doesn't work" or "at least I don't have to do it" or whatever. They just don't have the "Carpool Bible" that we seemed to have in Utah, the rules that every mom knew and followed, and no one complained about.

So my fellow Georgians, listen up because Utah's got it right on this one:

1. It is always okay to honk when you are picking up a kid, and I would much rather you honk at my house than make me check out my window every two minutes.

2. No child under 12 should ever sit in the front seat, ever.

3. Once in the car, sit down, shut up, and do up your seatbelt.

4. Make it even. For every one time someone drives your kid, you should drive theirs. If you have two kids in the same carpool, then you should drive twice as many times. (I know my mom did two mornings before we could drive to Hi-Lo's..at 4:55 in the AM!)

5. There should be no fight about seats. Again, sit down and shut up; we're all going to the same place.

6. The TV does not need to be turned on for a ten minute drive to school.

7. The driver chooses the music, and the passengers are lucky if it's something they like, but they need to be quiet about it...even suggestions are not allowed.

8. When bringing a kid home, it's okay to let the kid out of the car and expect them to run up to their house and go inside. We do not need to wait for the parent to run out before the seatbelt can even be removed, especially because of the fact that we can't honk, and we'll sit out there for ten minutes before the mom comes out.

9. Always be home when it's time for your kid to be dropped off.

10. If you have to trade days, then do it a few days before...even those of us that don't work have busy schedules.

10. Always be on time.

11. Always say "thank you" and I mean a SERIOUS thank you. "Thank you Mrs. Chaunette for taking time out of your busy day to drive us to school and to be cheerful and for letting us listen to Hannah Montana the whole way." Or even just, "Thanks for the ride." I haven't heard it yet, but I'll wait patiently.

Meanwhile, for those of you that can honk freely where you live, lay one on for me...LOUD.