AAUUUGGGHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stress! Actually, I'm not sure stress is the right word, life is just BUSY and I feel like I'm not giving anything 100%. I tutor once a week, I teach tennis for three hours a week, I teach preschool three days a week....none of those are full time jobs, so I still am at home most of the time, so my house still gets destroyed, and I'm still a "stay-at-home" mom without the home time that I need to keep things running. Does any of that even make sense?

I read an article in Parents magazine about a stay-at-home dad who gave up a 60 hour a week TV cameraman job. He said in the end, staying home was harder and more time-consuming, but much more rewarding. I guess that's where I am.

I picked up these little jobs out of obligation and because the extra money is nice...(Utah, we'll be home to visit soon), but is it worth it? Preschool is too much fun. The kids are so adorable and it's really fun to plan things, but it is time-consuming. I think if I can stick it out though, next year I will have it all planned and it will be so easy! Tennis is great money and it's physically draining, but easy...as long as my kids are okay running around for THREE HOURS after a morning at preschool. Tutoring is easy, but again time-consuming...and it takes time away from my kids...I love the girl I tutor and it has now been three years, so I felt like I needed to continue. Anyway, listen to me justify it all. Life has got to be more simple. I haven't sat down and had a real converation with Dave since Mexico. He is still sick and needs more of me than I can give right now. I have friends that I haven't hung out with in way too long. I am giving in so many directions that no one is getting all of me and nothing is getting all of my attention. Any suggestions before I lose my mind?

Cabo

There's not enough time to blog about our fabulous Cabo trip, but here are the highlights:

• Little D's beautiful wedding on the beach
• Seeing my "little" brother
• Meeting and spending time with D's new husband Eric
• Parasailing (on a 400 foot rope) over the Pacific and the Sea of Cortez
• Snorkeling at Lover's Beach
• Cabo Wabo (I love Sammy)
• Relaxing and getting a tan
• Getting smashed by the waves, losing my sunglasses and developing a new anxiety :)
• Going out for great dinners and hanging out with everyone
• Dancing

If I could have a second wedding, I would do the exact same thing. It was soooooooo fun! It's good to be home and the kids were so happy, but did great with us gone!

Sunday Scribblings: Google Magic

Hmmmmm, this week's topic finally gave me an excuse to find something out that I have wondered about for the last three years, and please excuse the lack of organization and research paper guidelines...my college days are SO done.

First, a little background: As I was driving in the realtor's car in Cumming, Georgia, having just one weekend to find a home on my first trip to this state, I made a comment to the realtor: "I'm really excited to experience the world. I have lived in Utah my entire life. Nearly every person I've met and known has not only been Mormon, but has also been white. I can't wait for my kids to grow up with some diversity...ya know, the 'real world'."

He paused for a moment and replied, "Um, normally I wouldn't say this, but you have just asked me to drive to a house (that I had found over the internet knowing NOTHING about the area) that is in Forsyth County. You'll definitely find diversity in religion, but not in race. Oprah even did some kind of show from there on racism."

I wasn't sure what he meant....after all, this is Atlanta, Georgia...or a suburb at least...there has to be more people of color than in Utah. I found the house of my dreams, in the neighborhood of my dreams, and we moved our little family across the country...to Forsyth County, Georgia.

So, after three years here I've learned that the realtor was right. I experienced more race diversity teaching at Farmington Junior High (which was 99% Mormon and 97% white among 1,200 kids) than I have here. So, what was that "Oprah Show?" What went on in this county? This is what I learned:

A reputation for racial intolerance plagued Forsyth County during the twentieth century. In 1912 the rape of a young white woman by three African American males sparked a campaign among the white population to rid Forsyth County of all African Americans. For almost a month, gangs of night riders harassed and intimidated the black population into moving out of the county.

While it is unknown how many African Americans moved as a direct result of the purge, by 1930 only 17 blacks resided in Forsyth County compared with almost 1,100 in 1910. In 1987 (1987...I didn't even realize how RECENT it all was) racial tensions again erupted in Forsyth County. In January a small march in Cumming to commemorate Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday met with resistance from local members of the KKK, who threw stones and glass bottles at the demonstrators. The event received national attention, and on January 24, 20,000 marchers from around the country converged on Forsyth County. Led by numerous civil rights leaders, the marchers encountered 1,000 to 2,000 counterdemonstrators, but the presence of large numbers of police and National Guard troops most likely kept the event from turning violent. The event was one of the largest civil rights demonstrations since the 1960s and generated so much national attention that talk-show host Oprah Winfrey taped a show the following month in Cumming about the events.

In 1987, Oprah packed up the show and headed south to Forsyth County, Georgia, a place where not one black person had lived in 75 years. The Forsyth County Defense League was a white supremacist group established in 1987 (1987...really?????) in Cumming, Georgia, to counter efforts by Atlanta City Councilperson Hosea Williams, to integrate all-white Forsyth County. The group and its successor Nationalist Movement have won some prominent court battles on behalf of members' rights to support discrimination against non-whites, to march and to meet in public buildings. During the show, an explosion of racism ensued with the "n" word used over and over again to Winfrey.

Forsyth County, I learned is the second-fastest growing county in the nation in the 1990s. Forsyth in the 2000 census is still 92 percent white and its growth is mostly explained by the droves of white people moving in. For every single black person and every 10 Hispanics new to Forsyth in the 1990s, there were 100 new white residents.

The completion of Georgia Highway 400 (which I live right off, almost into Dawson County) in the 1980s turned Forsyth County into a suburb of Atlanta, further encouraging population growth. According to the 2000 U.S. census, the county's population was 98,407 (95 percent white, 0.7 percent black, and 5.6 percent Hispanic), an increase of 123.2 percent from the 1990 census. The county remains one of the most racially homogenous in the state.

So, this answered a lot of questions that I've had. I really wanted to know the history of this city and county. It's crazy to be in a place that you didn't grow up learning about. When I'm in Salt Lake going down Bangerter Highway, I can tell you exactly who that road is named after, but I moved to a strange place, and I knew nothing about it. I love it here, but I do hate that it has an ugly past (and present). I have even blogged about my racist neighbors before. My husband works much closer to Atlanta and has the opportunity to meet fabulous people of every color. Last year I had his co-worker's daughter come and spend her Spring Break with me and the girls. I wondered why my neighbors weren't so nice. I wondered why we got strange looks at the neighborhood family go-cart place...and guess what? I love it that I ruffled some feathers! I will teach my children tolerance. Good people are good and bad people are bad, and skin color means NOTHING....even in Forsyth County, Georgia.

Deep Thoughts

Today we were driving home from school, and I could tell Amelia had been thinking about something the whole way home. Finally, she asked, "Mom, God makes everything good, right?"
I quickly turned down the radio and mumbled, "um, ya." (I was trying to decide if I should go into how God gives men the BRAINS to make some things, but I settled with the eloquent, "ya.") She then said, "Mom, then God definitely made string cheese."

Mikayla's First Day

Mikayla chose her 4th of July dress to wear on the first day of school. She was "so fashion" just like her sister. I think these pictures (even though blurry) show how excited she was to start school today! Her favorite part of the day was "meeting her new friend Emma" (even though she's known her for three years now) and "playing with dollies."

Amelia's First Day

This is the outfit Amelia chose for her first day of school! She looked SO FASHION! She was very nervous but was very brave!
I'm not sure why she was striking all of thes poses, but she kept telling me she was a fashion girl.
This is the picture Amelia's teacher sent to tell us she had a great day today! She said her favorite part was swinging on the swings outside and coloring a picture of her family camping.

Sunday Scribblings: "The Monster"

I am a person who thinks about something for approximately 2.3 seconds and just dives into it (or just doesn't) but I refuse to ponder on things for too long. It's that impatient, restless being of mine. This Sunday Scribbling, however, I did ponder about. I immediately thought about my loveable monster....my youngest, three-year-old Mikayla, but after thinking more about the prompt, I thought about a true monster in our society: the way women are portrayed in the media.

I taught 8th grade English for five years. Are there any more difficult years than that of adolescence? A young women has so many hormones and insecurities WITHOUT looking in a magazine and seeing what is impossible to achieve. I know there are girls out there that have a size 0 or 2 body without trying, but why is that the goal? What is wrong with a perfect size 8, or 10 or 12 for that matter? Why is a size 2 the goal? It is causing turmoil in this crazy world of ours. I look at my sweet daughters and just get so nervous about what is in their future.

As my (extremely underweight) daughter stepped on the scale at the doctor's office today, the nurse said, "Oh my Goodness, I had the scale at 50lbs., but you haven't even hit 40 yet...are you really five?" and after my confused daughter stuttered that she was indeed five, the nurse finished, "Oh, well Lucky You! You barely weigh a thing." I saw the wind deflate from her sail as she slumped back to her little check-up room.

You see, I've been trying this reverse-psychology thing to combat this crazy media of ours. I constantly tell my girls, "OH YOU ARE SOOOOOOO BIG! OH, YOU'RE FEET HAVE GROWN ANOTHER WHOLE SIZE, LET'S CELEBRATE! AMELIA YOU ARE AT LEAST FOUR INCHES TALLER THAN THE NEXT KID IN YOUR CLASS....YOU ARE THE QUEEN! EAT YOUR VEGETABLES SO YOU CAN GROW BIG AND STRONG AND BE HEALTY!" When people comment to me, "She's so tall!" I turn to Amelia and whisper, "You are so lucky to be so tall. Don't feel bad for the little kids in your class."

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that there is only so much I can do....my girls who watch almost no TV can still tell me that blonde hair is best and will tell me that the big girl on TV is "not fashion." I try my little reverse-psychology thing, "But look at her hair, isn't it beautiful? Look at her smile, doesn't she look happy?" But, they know. It's a monster....and it is going to creep up on my little girls, and I'm scared.

My Job

Mikayla enjoying the library center.

Okay, I just need to take a minute to tell my friends about how excited I am about my new job. I really didn't want to go back to work until Mikayla was in Pre-K five days a week and Amelia was in Kindergarten. I thought I had it all worked out, but the director from Amelia's preschool called and asked if I would take the 3 year old, 3 days a week class. I decided to do so, because I have to pay for both girls preschool this year and it would also be fun to be there with them.

We COULD NOT get the alphabet up above the cabinet, until we remembered we had AMELIA to climb up and help!

I've already written about how much I love this school, but I can't believe how nice the teachers are there. Everyone is so excited to be there. I woke up so excited to go to work...this is just the teacher week without kids. The best part is my friend Steph is my assistant teacher, so I get to work with someone that I love. She's so creative and very patient with kids. The other lady who teaches on Tuesdays and Thursdays is new this year too, but has taught preschool for many years.

They let me bring my kids, so they just run around and play and paint...and destroy what we put together. Amelia is our preschool consultant. She was there last year so she knows it all. Mikayla is the same age as the kids I'm teaching (but she'll be in the other class), so we can use her to measure how high to put things and whether or not a three-year-old can REALLY cut out a circle (they can't). It's fun to be out using my brain (surprisingly coming up with a center/play based curriculum based on monthly themes, shapes and colors was a little difficult). Most of all, it's fun to be at work WITH my kids. I'm so excited to meet my 12 little three year olds and embark on this adventure together!

This is the bulletin board where we are going to put the kids pictures in the frames and let them decorate them with circle buttons for the first day of school. I have 12 kids and the Tuesday/Thursday class has 12 kids.

This is the monthly big center we have set up...Home and Family. The kitchen and tool area is so cool! The bottom picture is where the kids are going to decorate frames for their family pictures. The other board is our circle time board with the date, star students and weather.

Sunday Scribblings: The Inner Life of Pets

It all started one morning when these guys came and took us out of our home in Hurricane, Utah that we had been working on for months. They stuck us in a little tube and put the tube in an envelope. The next thing we knew, we were in a very hot, dark place for about four days. We ended up in a mailbox in Cumming, Georgia.

This really nice, beautiful lady came and rescued us. She put us in the fridge for 10 minutes, which was pretty shocking and actually pretty rude. However, she carefully dumped us in to this sand habitat. Now I have these two little girls that come and watch every move we make...every tunnel we dig, every grain of sand we carry. They bring all their grubby-fingered friends to come and see us. They feed us and give us water. They really love us. We are pretty happy, although our life expectancy was drastically decreased, but with the good care we are getting, we think we will live longer than out in the wild, even in this hot and humid environment. Well, we better sign off. We have tunnels to dig and work to be done.

Where's my Boy Doll?????

Mikayla could pick anything she wanted at Toys R Us last weekend and ALL she wanted was a "boy doll." I didn't know what she meant until she told me that her Barbies needed a boyfriend.

Anyway, I thought it was cute and they had three boys to choose from. She chose Surfer Ken. She carries him everywhere and sleeps with him. If she loses track of him she cries, "WHERE'S MY BOY DOLL?????" She keeps life exciting!

Sunday Scribblings: Who Else Can I Still Be?

Who else can I still be? So many answers to this question, but the one I will write about today is:
I can still be a PHOTOGRAPHER!

Okay, I know it's not profound or too exciting, but I want so badly to capture my kids just being kids....letting their personalities come through and preserving them forever in pictures. However, looking at my picture albums, nearly every picture is posed...there are my girls, usually in front of the fireplace with big smiles on their faces.

I have a new resolve...I will capture my kids in the moment. Here is my first attempt at Amicalola Falls in Dahlonega, Georgia with friends Jesse and Stevie:

Sunday Scribblings: Who Else Might I Have Been

If life is a road, there are constant forks in the road that one encounters, and a choice must be made which direction to travel. Some of these choices have little impact on where one will end up; some will change that life forever. Sometimes it is not even possible to understand how important that choice is at the time...it's only after the fact that it is realized how important that choice was, how turning left instead of right at that particular fork changed that person's life forever.

I am just not one to live with regrets or what ifs...I think I would go crazy and always second-guess myself. When I am faced with a decision, I sometimes think long and hard about it, and I am sometimes quick to decide, but I am pretty good about living with the decision. What is amazing to me is to look back on my life and see those crossroads, those forks in the road, where I made a decision or a decision was made for me that impacted my life and changed it forever.

Now I will ask what if...
What if my mom hadn't married my dad?
What if we wouldn't have left St. George?
What if I wouldn't have decided to go back to St. George for college?
What if Chelie had gone home that first day and not introduced me to Dave?
What if I would have gone to BYU instead of the U?
What if I had become a lawyer instead of a teacher?
What if I didn't have a miscarriage?
What if I would have given up and not tried for any more kids?
What if I would have stopped at one kid?
What if we wouldn't have moved to Georgia?
What if I weren't so curious and didn't read so much?

My life has it's ups and downs, but overall I am happy. I've made good decisions and bad decisions. They have all made me who I am, and I'm pretty happy with who I am and where I've been.

10 Years

Happy Anniversary to me and the love of my life!

On one hand, I can't believe it has been 10 years, on the other it seems like I've never been without him.

I met Dave in September 1993. He had been home from his mission about 48 hours and was thrust into the real world immediately. His sister, who was my friend from our first year in school, brought him over to my dorm. I thought he was so cute, but so dorky. He frequently messed up English and Spanish and didn't remember how to talk to girls. However, beneath it all, I knew that was the sign of a good missionary and I was instantly attracted. I was serving as Relief Society President at the time and the two of us made quite the pair....well, if you discount the fact that I loved everything outdoors...camping and especially mountain biking. I was on the college dance team (which I couldn't tell Dave for awhile because he never liked cheerleaders). Dave was the athlete-type...basketball, golf, tennis, etc. and not so outdoorsy.

Dave asked me out on a date soon after our meeting. We went country dancing. He wasn't a very good dancer, but that made him even cuter. (He's much better now...remember he hadn't touched a girl in two years.) After we went dancing, we went to Domino's pizza. He ordered a pizza and we walked to a park. I still had this self-conscious thing about eating in front of a guy on a date (yes, I was the girl who would order a salad on a date and pick at it like I was this finicky little eater and then come home and devour a double cheeseburger and fries). The problem is, that was so unattractive to Dave AND more importantly he had spent MONEY on the pizza that I wouldn't eat. In spite of that, we had great conversation and found that through our differences, we connected.

We dated that entire year at Dixie and at the end I had been accepted to BYU and then I found out he was going to the U. I quickly applied to the U and followed him there. Dave is a meticulous planner (with life and financial decisions...ya know, the big things...don't ask him what he wants to do next weekend), so he proposed one weekend in May 1995, yes almost two years after I met him. It was another year and three months that we were married...August 2, 1996. We graduated from the U in June 1996 and married two months later.

The last ten years have had it's ups and downs, but mostly ups. We've made life-changes, added two kids, moved across the country, bought two different houses, changed jobs, etc, but we've done it all together. There is no one in the world that I'd rather be with and there is no one that is a better match for me. Our differences complement each other, but the really important things in life we feel the same about. I look forward to our future.

I'm grateful every day for a husband who works so hard that I don't have to, one that supports me, one that puts up with me and one that loves me. I'm grateful for a husband that considers a fun weekend to be one that is spent with me and the kids (even it's just grocery shopping and doing yard work). I'm grateful for a husband who doesn't expect dinner on the table or a clean house, but appreciates both. I'm grateful for a husband who loved me at 260lbs. and who never made me feel anything less than beautiful....and still does. I'm grateful for a husband who supports my decisions on things and really just wants me to be happy. I love him.

Sunday Scribblings: Thief

It was a very smoldering, sticky and sunny day when I realized I had lost my third pair of sunglasses that week. I knew my sensitive eyes would not make it through the day, especially our daily escape to the pool, without sunglasses. I loaded up two whiny and rambuctious little girls and on a whim decided to see if the four-year-old neighbor boy wanted to join us on a trip to Wal-Mart to replace my sunglasses.

After shopping with three children and picking up the many miscellaneous deals I seem to find at Wal-Mart, I decided to save myself a minute and go to the self-check-out line. After sliding the debit card, I started to walk out of the store. As I walked out the door, three kids close by, alarms started to sound and employees started to run toward me. "Ma'am, we need to check your bags."

At this point I began to blush profusely and because I was blushing, I blushed even more. I looked guilty, and I didn't even know what was going on. My kids and Jesse were looking at me with questioning eyes...and then with accusing eyes. I started babbling; I continued blushing. The sweet lady asked if she could look through my bags. I stammered affirmation and continued babbling that I had no idea what could have set off the alarm.

It was then that the white-haired employee lifted a bag and there sat the sunglasses...the entire reason I took the trip, caught between the buggy and the purchased items. I had missed the sunglasses and set the bags down right on top of them. They had set off the alarm. I continued to blush as she told me that it was alright and to just go pay for them.

Head bowed, face blazing, three kids in tow, I walked back to the cashier and paid for the sunglasses. I had been an unintentional and very embarrassed thief.

My Amelia-Pie

Amelia wanted to camp for her birthday, so the four of us camped at Vogel State Park after her big party on Friday and stayed for two nights.
The paddle boats were so much fun! We also miniature golfed, hiked around, went to a rock shop and the beach. We made s'mores and just had great family time!
Amelia's birthday party was a blast!Amelia came up to the clubhouse with me before the party and decorated just how she wanted it!
Happy Birthday Amelia!

My Baby is 5. I don't know how I feel about that. My sister said the other day, that five is hard because they are just growing up so fast. I really thought since she's not going to kindergarten that it wouldn't be that big of a deal, but it is. She is such a sweet little girl and so much fun! What a special weekend this has been.

Sunday Scribblings: Hotel Stories

I love to vacation not necessarily "travel" (although I do like that, but money and time are always short). We love to take little weekend trips and stay in cheap motels and then splurge on fun things to do. When I thought about the prompt "hotel stories," I immediately thought of my adventure in Mesquite, but then I thought of Hawaii, my honeymoon, DisneyWorld with the kids, and a few others. What is funny is that I did not think of the hotel we had to stay in for ONE MONTH when we moved to Atlanta and had to wait for our house...with a three-month-old, two year old and a car that hadn't been shipped yet! So here are the motels/hotels that stand out in my life.

Hawaii: The second time I flew to Hawaii, it was alone with my Grandma. I felt so grown up. We stayed in a beautiful hotel and ate in restaurants that overlooked the island. I ordered horse radish with my filet because I wanted to do the same as my Grandma. I remember ordering pancakes each morning with coconut syrup from room service and buying a beautiful crystal pineapple necklace in the gift shop. My Grandma Stout also taught me the invaluable lesson of NEVER, EVER sleeping with the hotel bedspread. They rarely get cleaned, and to this day I panic when my kids even sit or lean against a hotel bed!

Las Vegas: MY HONEYMOON; Oh, how fun this was! We stayed at Treasure Island (not so exotic, but we had just graduated from college and money was tight). We spent most of our time in the hotel room...if you know what I mean. Well, we were watching the Summer Olympics (1996) and Dave went to the huge window overlooking the pool of our 15th floor room and parted the curtains and looked out. The problem is, he wasn't wearing anything and ladies clear down at the pool kept pointing at him and laughing. He kept turning to me and insisting there was no way they could see him. They just kept pointing and laughing until he admitted that he had put on a show for the entire pool below.

Mesquite: Have you ever felt like a third wheel or maybe like you are the outsider at someone else's family reunion? Well, my ex-sister-in-law (kind of a mouthful) had invited my sister-in-law/best bud and me down to Vegas. She was going with her husband (Dave and Chelie's brother) and we knew it would be fun to see them. So, the two of us drove down and it ended up not-so-good...except for the fact that Chelie couldn't lose that night at the casino. We could not stay another night in a sister-in-law's mother's boyfriend's house, so the two of us drove to Mesquite and stayed in the cheapest motel we could find. It was HORRIBLE...so horrible it was funny. It was filthy, dirty, had mismatched vinyl furniture and beds that sunk in the middle when you tried to sleep. We decided we didn't care because we were going to hang out in the casino anyway...well, we ended up losing EVERYTHING, so we had to go back and stay in the horrible place.

Sunday Scribblings: Two Peas in a Pod

Amelia and Mikayla...two peas in a pod.
The bond between sisters can be amazing, even at such young ages. Amelia tells me, "I have lots of friends, but Mikayla is my BEST friend and she's my sister FOREVER, even when we're moms." She has it all figured out.

My girls have such different personalities. One is sweet, sensitive, friendly, and thoughtful. The other is social, determined, strong-willed and funny. To stand back and watch them play is quite the lesson in sociology and psychology...taught by a three and four year old!

They just have their own way of playing, and friends are welcome, but then the play changes. It's almost like they keep their favorite activities for just the two of them; or maybe they just don't want the magic of their game to change. For example, they both would rather play outside and get dirty than play with anything inside, but when I can keep them inside, they dump out all of the toy containers in the playroom (yes, that means puzzles, doll accessories, cars and more, and no, it's not fun to clean up), and they fill them to the brim with STUFF. The stuff never makes a lot of sense: fake money, doll clothes, jacks, a few little Polly dolls, bracelets, a Spanish Bible from Dave's mission, make up, notebooks, etc. Basically, they ruin any sense of organization in the playroom! Then they either carry everything to their bed or downstairs on the entryway rug, which have now become airplanes. They change their names to Megan and Jessica and fly to really exotic places, like Utah.

They love each other fiercely and protect each other to the end. Yes, they fight, but not very much. Sometimes Amelia is the only person who can help Mikayla work things out. She knows just what to say to her and how to say it. Mikayla in turn, showers Amelia with hugs, often wrestling her to the ground. They are indeed two peas in a pod, and I love them!

Sunday Scribblings: Music

I had a million things run through my mind when I was pondering this week's topic: music. I started thinking about the music I grew up with...ya know, total "rocker" music (thanks, Dad). Then I thought of my little country kick and alternative and even my switch to hip hop right now. However, when I REALLY started to think about music, I thought about my violin.

When I was eight, a man visited our fourth grade class and told us we were now old enough to learn an instrument and be in the school orchestra. I immediately wanted to do it. I didn't know anyone who played the violin; I had never heard the violin and I wasn't even exactly sure what one was, but it sounded fun, and I wanted to try.

One thing about my mom and dad is that they always encouraged whatever we wanted to do, so my mom rented me a violin and I joined the school orchestra. Well, I actually had talent. I picked it up very quickly and it was then that my true love of music blossomed. My mom soon got me a private teacher and by tenth grade a very expensive violin, and it was something that I loved.

The thing is, the violin is something that I can now look back on and see all the benefits. At the time, I was "naturally gifted" as my teacher said. In all truth, I probably had more natural talent with music than dance, but I never took it very seriously and danced more than practiced the violin. The violin gave me something different. None of my very best friends played in the orchestra, and it was something that I did because I wanted to do, and I was good at it. I learned the works of Tchaikovsky and Copland, Handel and Suzuki...even the fiddle! I should have focused more energy on it. I could play anything by ear and I never really had to practice...but if I would have, I think I could have been great.

I took it pretty far...I played all through high school and our high school orchestra went to a national competition in Oregon and WON! I also played in college in the Southwest Symphony and in Dixie College Chamber Orchestra. It was always second to whatever else I had going on, but I still loved it. I'm lucky now if I pull my violin out more than once a year at Christmas. I'm rusty and last time I played at church, it was horrible, but I will always be grateful that I played.

Learning music and finger/bow coordination made me smarter...really. Connections were made in my brain and it seems like it helped many aspects of my life. But, I also remember lying back on the grass and listening to Tchaikovsky's "Serenade for Strings" after a long bike ride and just crying. The music was beautiful and I knew how important it was to me. It was so much more than my Van Halen or Madonna...it was MUSIC...and I loved it.

Sunday Scribblings: Bed

The first bed I really remember is my twin bed when I was eight years old. It had a beautiful, pink Holly Hobbie bedspread. I remember fluffing the pillows and making it every day. That was also the year I changed my name to Olivia.

The next bed I had was a queen-size water bed hand-me-down that I inherited in high school. I picked out an awesome periwinkle and navy blue bedspread and then found wallpaper and paint to match. I decorated the entire room by myself.

By the time my senior year rolled around, I was ready to have a little more room, or maybe the waterbed sprung a leak...I don't remember. But, I got rid of it and bought a little white iron daybed.

Next came the horrible, stinky bed I slept on in college in the dorm. I remember my roommate and I trying to rearrange our beds, but there was really no room. Our feet would touch in the night. It was especially difficult when Dave would come to "visit" and we had to pretend that she wasn't there...or maybe she pretended we weren't there. HOWEVER, we would "knock boots" literally...with my roommate.

Oh, the next bed I love. It was our first purchase we made together. It was a four-poster queen size bed and I cried when we paid for the mattress. It was so expensive during our married college days! I decorated it in burgundy and forest green. We put that bed to good use during the next seven years of marriage!

Now, my bed is my haven. I splurged on ridiculously expensive sheets three years ago. I have a delightfully plush crimson bedspread with matching pillows. We "upgraded" to a king when we moved to Georgia and realized that moving across the country with a confused two-year-old and two month old meant our bed would have an extra twenty tiny toes snuggled between us. Actually, the toes never ended up between us. They ended up in my ribs, in my hair or my backbone.

After some bribery and rough nights, we finally convinced the girls (a year later) to sleep together in their own room. Amelia crawled into Mikayla's crib every night and they nestled together. Today, they still sleep in the same bed, although our crib is long gone.

I love my bed...it is the place where I can finally relax after a crazy day. It is the place that Dave and I can be TOGETHER...no, not that...just ALONE, TOGETHER. Good Night.

Grateful...Sunday!

I'm grateful for:
The neighborhood pool
Slobbery little kisses
Time with Dave
Double Shots wings
Diet Coke
Our golf cart
Back rubs
When the girls say, "You're the BEST mom!"
Dots
Sunrise
My favorite pillow
Music
Flip flops
Laughter
Family
Friends
A clean house (not right now, though)
D's wedding

Lots more, but we are on our way to the pool!